Role of parents towards their children in a society that does not helpin raising children properly

[caption id="attachment_985" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="Khat by Osman Ozcay"][/caption]

A very common problem seen in youth in western countries is that their parents allow them to indulge in some form of haram in the hope that that will stop them from committing worse haram. An example of this is that parents will say that they allow their children to indulge in music in the hope that that will stop them from going out with bad people or leaving their home all together. Parents are afraid that if they enforce the law of Allah in their homes, that their children will leave. What is Islam’s position on this sort of compromise? Some parents also say that they only have the duty to tell their children something is haram, and then their children have to choose for themselves because they are already young adults (i.e. 13 -18 yrs old and unmarried, living at home). Don’t the parents have to forbid haram by all means, or do they just say that is haram and then leave them be? To what extent do parents have to go to forbid their children from haram? Parents also believe that once their children reach the age of puberty they are no longer responsible for their sins or actions, and so say they will have no sin if they advise their children something is haram and then leave them. Is this true? Or do parents always have the responsibility of forbidding their children from haram, and will they be responsible if they see their children doing haram and just leave them after advising them?

The husband's father and mother have no authority over their son’s wife

Who has the right to be obeyed: the husband or his mother? What if the mother gives some instructions and the husband gives different instructions -- who is to be obeyed? Especially if the husband and his wife are living in his father's house?
What if the parents tell their son to tell his wife that she should do something, and the husband objects to that? Is she in turn obliged to listen to what her in-laws tell her, against the objections of her husband?.

Fasting ‘Ashoora’ for one who still owes days from Ramadaan

I still have days to make up for Ramadaan and I want to fast ‘Ashoora’. Is it permissible for me to fast ‘Ashoora before I have made up the fasts I owe? Can I fast ‘Ashoora’ and the eleventh of Muharram with the intention of making up the Ramadaan fasts, and will I get the reward for fasting ‘Ashoora’?

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

You should not observe voluntary fasts when you still owe one or more days from Ramadaan, rather you should start with the fasts that you owe from Ramadaan, and then observe voluntary fasts.